Growing up as a kid I have never looked school and classes as something important. I paid worst attention to almost all subjects everyday for years and my intrinsic motivation to learn was at the very bottom where it led me to have zero consciousness to my future. My ambitions kept changing every time my teacher asked us, as a requirement for our personal file record. Reminiscing to that memories back in the wooded school where I made a non-violence disruptive behaviour, I didn’t find the inspiration about life.
Moving to secondary school where I had to stay in the hostel, and had lived for 4 years was the phase I learnt to be independent. A lot of hardship and conflicts, mostly came from friendship. However, this was the phase I had my academic performance at the top but only got neglected and ignored to some girls including my childhood friends. I didn’t have the chance to be in a Disney-kind-of-girls group or being romantically involved with (immature) guys then. But thankfully I was doing great in school and I tried to do my best so I could create a good future by getting a great job and therefore help my family. Still though, through those 5 years of intense hatred and jealousy, I didn’t find the persons who supposed to inspire me about life.
Leading to this current life I have, where I am a college student and once had to deal with depression. It was tough, it was even intense than friendship conflict in secondary school. This is the place where I look life as something I had to plan myself. back then it wasn’t that way. Living at home or hostels, you have routines to follow. While here now, I’ve got to get up and work on my day. Nobody cares when you skip classes, not eating dinner or lunch, not doing laundry etc etc. It wasn’t that tough, it was THAT tough to sometime cope up in it.
Years passed and aged up, I knew I needed to do something. I have to look for something and change my life. I don’t always have to follow the path just because everyone is leading the same way. I have to find my own way of life, people aren’t made to follow each other’s life because biologically and naturally we are born differently. With that in mind, I searched for a thing/person to help me move. It wasn’t that easy because I am not a fan of particular artists or famous people. So I looked for the small little things happening in my life that can help me move.
I always get more fascinated at how some people act to the natural occurrences in life. Like holding the button for someone with a stroller coming in the elevator, or stopping a car to give way for other vehicles to get on the lane. It’s the act of kindness that happens EVERYDAY in our lives that give huge impact to us. and what’s funny about it is the fact that physically close has deeper impact than having to see or hear from the social media about a stranger willingly took off his shirt to stop the bleeding head of someone involved in an accident. Sometimes, we refuse to spend small seconds of our time to help somebody who are in need. Do something good because kindness is contagious, we never know who we are inspired.